


What I'd Give

by writemydreamsaways



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Anyone who knows me from my previous works on other platforms know I am incapable of avoiding ANGST, But I always do happy endings, But mostly angst, Demi!Beomgyu, Implied homophobia, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Some Fluff, TXT are the sweetest most supportive friends, Taehyun just wants to breathe, time jumps sometimes because this happens the course of several years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writemydreamsaways/pseuds/writemydreamsaways
Summary: "He would give his right arm if Taehyun broke his. He would give his other leg if Taehyun needed it. He would offer half of his lungs, his eyes, his ears, if Taehyun asked for it.But what Taehyun needed was his heart, and it was the one thing Beomgyu wasn’t sure he could give."---When Taehyun's deepest secret is revealed to the public, Tomorrow x Together have to navigate the new path carved out for them and figure out what it really meant to be together for every tomorrow. And over the years, Choi Beomgyu learns what unconditional love really means.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 38
Kudos: 92





	1. Prologue: Where The World Falls

It had been 5 hours. 

5 hours since the world exploded, right in the middle of lunch time.

5 hours since their manager barged into their rehearsal room, wide-eyed with a deranged glare. He confiscated all of their phones and demanded they follow him to their CEO’s office. None of them knew that the hell. Beomgyu looked to Soobin, hoping their leader had some inkling and would provide comfort that everything was okay. But he looked just as worried and confused as the rest of them.

When they entered their CEO’s corner office, Bang PD was seated back in his chair, eyes closed with brows furrowed. It was not a comforting sight. The team assembled themselves before him, and the next words out of Bang PD’s mouth turned their world upside down.

Just 20 minutes before, while TXT was hiding away in the basement studio, someone had leaked private content on them obtained via hacking and illegal surveillance in their home. The hackers’ motives were unclear; there was no note, no ransom demand. The information was unceremoniously leaked on the world wide web, and the culprits vanished. But what initially seemed like a chaotic data dump was actually a carefully woven narrative designed to appear random.

Because in between all the trivial information, hiding in plain sight, in short messages to friends and implied in clipped conversations, was one incriminating fact: Kang Taehyun was a homosexual and he was in love with Beomgyu. 

In Hollywood movies, “coming out of the closet” was often portrayed as a grand step, something celebrated with happy tears, encouraging hugs, and reassurances of unconditional love. But there was none of that. 

The team sat shellshocked in their CEO’s grey office, the time and tension passing over them like an avalanche - cold, fast, and never-ending. All eyes turned to Taehyun, whose teary gaze was resolutely pinned to the floor. His slender fingers balled into tight fists, so tight that his hands turned white and his knuckles threatened to break out of his skin. 

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, Beomgyu thought. It was the 21st century, for fuck’s sake. But his aching racing heart begged to differ because, holy shit, it was in fact a big deal. Not just because they lived in a country that still considered itself conservative, or that part of their job was to appear picture perfect.

No, it was a big fucking deal because they didn’t know. His best friend was in love with him and he didn’t know. 

They lived together. They worked together. They laughed, ate, slept, cried, fought together. They celebrated every holiday, and mourned every loss. They were supposed to be family, but they didn’t even know. He didn’t know.

Beomgyu watched Taehyun, trying to understand. He’s looked at the other for years, in early morning car rides and exhausted sleepless nights. Through teary eyes and confused stares. Somewhere between all of that, he should have known, right? Why didn’t they know?

Why didn’t Taehyun tell them? Tell him?

“I’m sorry,” Taehyun said. All eyes were on him. What he was sorry for, Beomgyu didn’t know. Maybe it just felt like the right thing to say.

Bang PD said a lot of things - the police and company lawyers were already summoned, Taehyun’s family will be provided an official press release, and none of them were to issue any statements not approved by the company. But above all, he asked:

“What do you want to do?”

They had no answer for that.

It was a silent car ride, the inevitable hanging heavy around them. The company booked them a hotel suite for the meantime as the police searched their dorm for hidden bugs and cameras. But none of them cared about that because the damage was already done. 

When they arrived at the suite, Taehyun beelined for one of the smaller rooms and shut himself in, refusing to come out no matter who nor how many times they asked him to come out.

It had been 5 hours. 

5 hours since the world exploded, right in the middle of lunch time.

“Let’s try this again tomorrow,” Soobin sighed as they packed away Taehyun’s dinner. 

The company was generous enough to give them an early day off and hold the media at bay while they picked up the pieces amongst themselves. 

But Beomgyu couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, trying to catch some shut eye, but it didn’t seem like it was meant to be. Each time he closed his eyes, he was haunted by the thinly veiled devastation on his best friend’s face. It was like a stab through the lungs, robbing his chest of air.

Some time past 2 in the morning, he resigned himself to another sleepless night and sidestepped Heuningkai’s bed to pad out into the hallway. The light in the kitchenette was on, evidence that someone else aside from him was awake. 

Standing by the fridge, stock still with a glass of water in one hand, was Taehyun.

Beomgyu rubbed his half-open eye, trying to see the other boy better through his sleepy haze. “How are-” 

But no sooner than the words were out of his mouth, Taehyun’s moony eyes widened and he beelined for his room.

“What the fuck?!” Beomgyu hissed when Taehyun speeded past him, obviously shrinking in on himself to avoid any sort of physical contact. 

Red heat flooded Beomgyu’s system, anger tinging his sight. 

“Wait a second,” He raced after Taehyun, just barely catching the door before it could be slammed in his face. 

It was strange to face his best friend like this. Just this morning, Taehyun was teasing him about something, maybe being a loudmouthed picky eater. They laughed about something small and dumb and insignificant, as they always do. Taehyun glowed when he laughed, looking younger with his wide eyes and wide grin.

But the boy in front of him was like a wounded animal backed in a corner, shrinking himself on his bed as if he could disappear between the sheets. The bright eyes that usually sparkled dimmed with tears as Taehyun turned his back to Beomgyu and pressed his forehead to the wall, hiding his face. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” It was a dumb thing to say, Beomgyu knew. What else is someone to do when the world crumbles in front of their eyes? When the smallest details are laid out of the world to prod and speculate on, to judge as if they have a say in the matter?

“Go away.” Came the muffled reply.

“I can’t do that,” Beomgyu said, shutting the door quietly behind him, turning the lock for good measure.

“Leave me alone,” Taehyun whined, a sniffle punctuating his words. “Please.”

Taehyun - whip-smart, sarcastic, proud Kang Taehyun - just begged. The simple 6 letter word ignited an inferno in the elder’s chest, a frightening need to burn down anyone and anything that played a hand in this wreck.

“Just leave. Fuck.” From where he stood, Beomgyu could see how Taehyun’s tightly clenched fist, gripping the sheets so tight that his knuckles turned white. He was never the type to let his guard down so easily, but neither was Beomgyu.

The older boy quietly slid under the sheets, laying on his side as he stared straight at the back of Taehyun’s head. They were mere inches away, close enough to feel each other’s body heat without actually touching, but Taehyun had never felt so far away. 

It seemed like they were on opposite ends of a canyon, with Taehyun tiptoeing a cliff’s edge. Beomgyu felt too far, too helpless to do anything but stay with him.

The two boys stayed still for what felt close to an eternity, the tension punctuated by small hiccups and barely restrained sobs from Taehyun. The shared pillow vibrated with his trembling body.

“You can get mad if you want to.” Beomgyu whispered. He lost track of time a while ago, but figured it must almost be 4 in the morning.

Taehyun said nothing.

“Or scream.” The elder offered. “Or hit something. You can hit me; would that make you feel better?”

Taehyun only cried harder.

“Do what you need to, Taehyun-ah.” Beomgyu burrowed deeper into the pillow. It smelled like Taehyun, but was a little damp from his tears. “Tomorrow, we’ll face this together.”

Sleep was an impossible wish as the younger boy continued to weep, his sobs shaking the mattress. Each tortured gasp ripped through Beomgyu, as if his lungs were the ones begging for respite.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.” Taehyun whispered brokenly between cries.

“What are you sorry for?” Beomgyu replied, inching ever closer. 

Taehyun sniffled bitterly. “Are you just going to ignore what the text messages said?”

Oh. 

The thing was, Beomgyu didn’t ignore it. How could he, when it was a landmine that threatened to explode in plain sight. And Taehyun just deliberately stepped on it. 

“I’m sorry.” Beomgyu muttered, inching closer to press his forehead against the back of Taehyun’s neck. A devastating cry ripped itself from the younger’s chest. Somewhere in the universe, a star collapsed into itself.

Because the irony of life is that Beomgyu would do just about anything for Taehyun.

He would give his right arm if Taehyun broke his. He would give his other leg if Taehyun needed it. He would offer half of his lungs, his eyes, his ears, if Taehyun asked for it.

But what Taehyun needed was his heart, and it was the one thing Beomgyu wasn’t sure he could give.

Beomgyu wrapped his arms around his best friend and held him tightly to his chest, closing his eyes as the slender boy trembled in his hold. Taehyun gasped desperately for air as if the only thing holding his lungs together were Beomgyu’s arms. Perhaps, in that moment, that was true.

Outside, the city slept. Inside, their world crumpled and morphed, bit by bit.

Exhausted and afraid, Beomgyu and Taehyun fell into a restless sleep. When they woke up mere hours later, the world was new. There was a lot to be figured out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm so excited to write this, and I hope you'll continue to join me on this journey. I'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment to let me know what you think.


	2. 3 Months Later: Where We Rebuild

To say that things “blew over quickly” was a complete lie, but it was the only thing Taehyun was willing to say about what had happened.

The culprits were found, investigated, tried, and sentenced. They were delusional fans of a rival team who sought to take down their company as a whole. Taehyun didn’t bother himself too much with all the details; they did what they did, and it left a whole bloody mess for them to deal with. He much rather focused on picking up the pieces.

So on a cloudy Saturday afternoon, when all the pieces finally fell and their victimizers were sent away, the 5 young men faced a wall of rapid, hounding press. They stood in a line, the epitome of unity and strength. It was ironic, Taehyun thought, how the sasaengs were put in jail but they had to face a trial of their own. A sentencing by the media and pop culture. 

Taehyun stood tall just behind his leader’s shoulders, his chin held high as their CEO addressed the media. Words of courage and power were said, something about how justice prevailed and that they would do not condone any form of discrimination. But they all went right over Taehyun’s head. 

He kept his gaze resolutely away from the flashing lights, keeping up the appearance of nonchalance. They were hanging above a shark tank, and these carnivores will attack at the slightest smell of blood. So Taehyun focused on the horizon, at the cars passing just across the street and the little girl holding her mother’s hand in front of the bus stop.

“What should we have for dinner?” Taehyun whispered, lips barely moving to avoid being too obvious. But Yeonjun heard him all the same. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. 

“Hmmmm,” The eldest hummed thoughtfully, rocking slightly on his heel. “Maybe japchae and samgyupsal? I think I can convince PD-nim to treat us to a good dinner tonight.”

Taehyun smirked; of course Yeonjun would do that. He was always hungry, and always charming. “I’m counting on you, hyung. Fighting!”

Yeonjun chuckled softly and placed a hand on Taehyun’s shoulder. He squeezed gently, reassuringly, in that very Yeonjun way he’s always had.

It felt like that time when they had just debuted and Taehyun, the scrawny ratty thing he was, clung to the eldest member’s arm to ground himself. To his credit, despite his own nerves and inhibitions, Yeonjun rubbed comforting circles on Taehyun’s back and asked if he was okay, all the while maintaining that sweet boyish grin for the cameras.

At the time, Taehyun was too young to understand the colossal strength it took for their eldest hyung to keep it together for their sake. But after years of standing in front of cameras, smiling as if everything was alright even if the world was burning, he slowly understood. He was grateful to Yeonjun for protecting him that day. 

True to his word, Yeonjun strong-armed their plushy CEO into buying them meat and noodles. They laughed and dranked as if they weren’t on the precipice of change. As if they weren’t standing at the knifepoint of their careers. 

That was 3 months ago.

The press ran a lot of articles. There were rumors, debates as to the morality of having a homosexual in a boy group. 

But all the while, the team kept their heads down and their mouths shut. The company continued to do what they do best - sue those who started libelous allegations and speculations. The boys acted like they didn’t care, keeping to their rehearsal schedules and recording sessions. They talked to their fans often, most smart enough to understand that the issue was better left swept under the carpet. 

They didn’t talk about it often, much to Taehyun’s relief. It was the elephant in the room, one they treated like a silent pet rather than an enemy.

But now, there were places to go and people to see. And facing the sharks was inevitable.

“Taehyun-ah,” a soothing voice called him from his slumber. A warm hand shook his shoulder.

The sharks waited for them across the street, covering the entrance to their airport, but Taehyun could already hear them from inside the car. 

Their manager and driver stepped out of the vehicle to unload their belongings, leaving a bleary-eyed Taehyun with Beomgyu. The other three members were in the car in front of them. He could see Soobin stepping out of the vehicle, throwing a polite wave at the cameras before helping Yeonjun out.

Beomgyu sat up in his seat and shifted around, tugging his bomber jacket back on.

“We have to get moving,” The older boy reiterated gently, eyeing Taehyun’s immobile figure. But the younger couldn’t bring himself to move, not just yet. He sat on the side of the car opposite from the airport, facing the freeway. If he focused on the zooming cars, he could make believe that they were still on the road. 

He wished he were anywhere else but there. He wished to be anyone else but himself at that moment.

“Taehyun-ah,”

Maybe if he sat there long enough, he could blend in with the leather seat.

“Taehyun-ah,”

Maybe he could force reality to alter itself, move slowly backwards until they were back in their apartment, talking over coffee and a slightly overcooked breakfast.

“Look at me, Taehyun-ah,”

Beomgyu was perceptive. A little goofy sometimes, a little immature. But his expressive eyes were hard to run away from. They spoke in volumes the things he rarely putd in

“What’s going on?” He asked, worry lacing his tone.

Taehyun couldn’t look at him. With his white baseball cap pulled over his jet-black hair, bringing out his fair skin and dark eyes, it was hard to look at him. 

Looking at him was like staring into the sun. Looking at him hurt.

So Taehyun kept his eyes on the freeway, wishing he was in that white minivan zooming down the road. Anywhere but here.

“What if they don’t like me for me?”

What was a comfortable quiet in the car became a stifling, deafening silence. Taehyun turned to face Beomgyu, whose fine features where distorted by the mean scowl on his face.

They didn’t talk about it often, and most especially not between Taehyun and Beomgyu. The younger thought it would be too close for comfort and feared that his actions towards his teammate would be misconstrued. He took it upon himself to keep a safe distance, at least physically, to avoid any discomforts or misunderstandings. The last thing he wanted was for people to think he was taking advantage of Beomgyu’s kindness. 

It went on for a few weeks, with Taehyun begrudgingly growing used to the distance. He convinced himself that no one was any the wiser, and that they were better off with way. But it seemed he might not have been as discreet as he thought because one day, Beomgyu put his foot down. Literally. 

It was during a group live stream; they had been doing more and more of those. There was strength in numbers, making it easier to navigate conversations. Beomgyu was a little late, so they started without him. They were on the L-shaped couch in the company lounge, with Taehyun seated on one end. When Beomgyu arrived, he thought that the older boy would take the open spot on the other end of the couch beside Hueningkai. But to the younger boy’s surprise, he plopped himself down on the floor between Taehyun’s legs. 

Taehyun thought he did a pretty good job of looking like it didn’t matter – and if it were the time before he was outed, it definitely wouldn’t have – as Beomgyu waved to the camera and greeted MOA. The conversation kept going (something about trying to convince Hueningkai to discard 10% of his plushies because the dorm was overpopulated already), but Taehyun found it hard to concentrate. All he could focus on was the heat of Beomgyu’s back against his leg, how their physical proximity would lead to a million screenshots blasted across the internet, how his face must be as red as Yeonjun’s fucking beret. 

He tried to slowly ease his leg up to squat on the couch and avoid any contact. But before he could even fully shift his leg, Beomgyu grabbed his ankle and put it back down on the floor.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked quietly, turning his head, to address Taehyun separate from the group. The other 3 members keep talking. 

“Ummm,” Taehyun didn’t know what to say. “I was just going to put my feet up.”

Beomgyu huffed and threw an arm over one of Taehyun’s knees, using it as an arm rest. End of discussion.

Since then, Beomgyu made it very clear, not in so many words but more in his fatal gazes and firm actions, that nothing between them was going to change.

_“What if they don’t like me for me?”_

Now, the silence between them stretched longer and longer, boiling over until Taehyun felt like crying. He hadn’t cried since that night the world crumbled, when Beomgyu held him until the morning light trickled through the hotel curtains.

The older boy opened his mouth – once, twice, three times – but no words escaped. At least no words he thought were good enough.

Taehyun shifted, wanting to get the shitshow over with, but Beomgyu held him still with a steady hand. 

“Well, I love you for you. So everyone else can just fuck off.” He whispered, reaching over to wipe a traitorous tear Taehyun didn’t even realize had spilled over. His words, though crass, were uttered ever so gently, almost a caress against his battered soul. 

Beomgyu took off his white baseball cap and carefully put it on Taehyun, shielding his red-rimmed eyes. Then he took out his Airpods, slipped one in his ear, and its twin in Taehyun’s ear. Some soft acoustic song was playing – the guitar-led kind that Beomgyu learns sometimes. 

“They won’t hurt you, Taehyun-ah. We won’t let them.”

They exited the car, instantly met by inquisitive eyes and blinding flashes. They were momentarily safe on the other side of the road, bowing to the press in greeting while waiting for the pedestrian light to change. But when the signal changed and they walked forward towards the airport, the mob felt more like a tsunami, threatening to swallow them into an abyss. 

Before the panic could take over, a warmth enveloped Taehyun’s hand. He didn’t have to look over to know whose pale slender fingers were intertwined with his. 

Beomgyu gripped his hand tight, looking invincible as he tugged Taehyun closer. Soobin walked on Taehyun’s over side, the 6 feet tall leader almost an impenetrable wall himself. Hueningkai walked behind them, protected by one of their managers, and Yeonjun led the pack as he often does. Taehyun was completely covered by his teammates, so well protected that no hands could get to him.

He focused on the warmth of Beomgyu’s hand in his, and the gentle song playing in his ear. For the first time in months, amid the chaotic airport, Taehyun breathed easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there! I hope you enjoyed this second installment. I might not have a clear update schedule because life can get a little crazy, but everything has already been outlined and I just need to write it out. Please let a comment to let me know your thoughts! I'd love to get to know you guys, and know if there's anything that caught your interest. :)


	3. 1 Year Later: Where They Should Have Asked Questions

“Just a few more minutes!” Taehyun whined loudly in his ear, just barely understandable over the pounding dance music. His eyes were glazed over from one too many shots, but his stance steady enough to warrant a bit of trust.

“Okay, okay.” Beomgyu yelled back, nudging the intoxicated boy back towards the dance floor. “You get three more songs, then we’re out of here.”

The younger boy gave a pleased whoop and bopped his way back to the middle of crowd, his brightly dyed hair visible amidst the cluster of moving bodies.

It had been an interesting year.

12 months of self-discovery and understanding, not just for Taehyun but for the team as a unit. 

They learned about the world – about kindness and cruelty. They learned about the industry – about the glaring spotlights and rising shadows. They learned about people – about fair-weather friends and quiet forever soldiers. 

But most importantly, they learned about each other more than all the past years spent living together combined. They learned to cry at the good things and laugh at the bad things. They learned when to talk and when to listen. They learned how much strength they had when they stood together, heads held high even when the targets where on their backs and the cameras were in their faces. 

If anyone asked Beomgyu, he’d say the most important thing he learned was how to give.

For all their jokes about vanity and narcissism, Beomgyu was pleased to find out that he could give a lot. And maybe, subconscious or not, he gave it all to Taehyun.

Which is how, for the 3rd time that month, he found himself seated in an obscure corner of a club, eyes trained like a hawk on his intoxicated best friend. The upside this time was that he had managed to drag the rest of the team with them, so there they all were.

“Wanna dance, handsome?” A striking dark-haired man tapped Yeonjun on the shoulder. His bold outfit boasted a pale shoulder peeking out of his askew top, and tight leather pants. If it were daytime, perhaps he could be mistaken for an idol too. 

Yeonjun laughed and shook his head good-naturedly. “Thank you, but I’m here with friends.”

“Just one dance? You guys are just sitting here all lonely.” The man pushed gently, pouting at the eldest through his long dark lashes. Soobin bit down an amused grin and looked away, but his dimpled cheeks were a dead giveaway.

“Really, I’m flattered. But I’m just here to hang out with friends.” 

The man nodded in understanding and walked away after a final wink.

“You’re getting good at that.” Beomgyu commented, raising his lukewarm beer to his lips. 

“At what? Turning guys down?” Yeonjun chuckled. “Well, most of them are nice so it’s not a problem. You’ve gotten used to it too.”

It’s true, they get stared at and propositioned a lot when they go to clubs with Taehyun. It’s nothing too new to them – after all, part of being an idol was being looked at and gushed over. But being approached in real life, not for photos or autographs but for a drink or a dance, had been daunting the first few times it happened.

There's a saying that normal is relative, and Beomgyu knows that now more than ever. What is small and ordinary for most people are huge milestones for them, and vice versa. For most off their adolescence and now well into their adulthood, they have missed out on many so-called mundane life experiences.

While their peers met new people, fell in and out love, and made reckless decisions for story-worthy nights, they were busy recording albums, touring the world, and attending award shows in tailored suits. 

It's easy to glamorize the life of an idol, but it's not all fame and parties. Behind closed doors, they endure 14-hours days training until their bones threatened to break. Underneath the makeup and fancy clothes, they sport dark circles under their eyes and aching muscles. They often find themselves locked in recording studios and rehearsal spaces while the rest of the world moved forward.

Suddenly dipping into the party scene into their mid-twenties was disorienting. But it was important to Taehyun – the dim lights shrouded them in anonymity, and for a few hours, he didn't have to care about who he was, how he looked, or what he did. For a few hours, he could be another pretty face in the crowd, another dancing body lost in the music. He could be amongst peers who won't judge if he wanted to grind up against somebody, or if he got tipsy, or if he was a tad bit clingy to Beomgyu who 9/10 came to save him from some handy stranger. 

Which is exactly what he ended up doing that night. 

“It's late,” Soobin said, glancing at his phone. “Or early if you look at it the other way. We should go home. We have that interview thing in the afternoon, so we should try to get a few hours of sleep at least.”

Yeonjun nudged Beomgyu. “I'll track down Huening. You grab Taehyun.”

Grabbing Taehyun meant diving into the sweaty cluster of bodies, but it had become a responsibility that Beomgyu didn’t mind much. He weaved through the crowd, eyes set on the bouncing head of brightly dyed hair. When he was close enough to see Taehyun in full, he realized his best friend was dancing with some familiar faces – regulars, like they were now – except for one.

One man who was…a tad bit too handsy in Beomgyu’s opinion. 

Taehyun was closed off to the world, eyes closed and head tilted upwards in euphoria as he lost himself in the hypnotic beat. His friends were in front of him, dancing and laughing as they swayed to the music. But the stranger danced behind Taehyun, hands firms on his waist as he hungrily gazed downwards at the intoxicated idol’s body.

Without a second thought, Beomgyu closed the distance and tugged hard at Taehyun’s wrist, pulling his best friend out of the man’s reach. 

Taehyun stumbled forward gracelessly, eyes opening as he is taken from his trance. He managed to steady himself when their noses brushed, close enough for Beomgyu to watch the emotions play across Taehyun’s face. Shock morphed into confusion, which turned into recognition as a wide grin slowly broke across the younger’s lips, like sunshine breaking through the clouds at sunrise.

Beomgyu loved it when Taehyun smiled.

These days, it feels like that’s all he lives for. 

“Hyung!” He yelled, throwing his arms around the elder’s neck. “Dance with me!”

Over Taehyun’s shoulder, Beomgyu looked at the lone stranger carefully, checking to see if he was going to fight him (Beomgyu hope he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to sport a black eye during tomorrow’s broadcast). But the man seemed to have given up at the sight of Taehyun draping himself over him, so he shrugged and turned to dance with someone else.

Back to Taehyun. The intoxicated boy wrangled him into a clumsy two-step, his cheery laughter ringing loudly in Beomgyu’s ear. The older boy wrapped a secure arm around his waist to keep them both steady until they were essentially just embracing in the middle of the dance floor.

“Taehyun-ah, we have to get home.” Beomgyu pulled back to look at his best friend.

Taehyun pouted. He hated acting cute for cameras, but he’s naturally cute when he doesn’t try. 

“Just a few more minutes please.” He whined, knocking his sweaty forehead against Beomgyu’s collarbone. 

“You had your ‘few more minutes’ already,” Beomgyu gently chastised. “But we have schedules in the afternoon and it’s already past 4AM. We’ll all die if we don’t try to get a few hours of sleep.”

The younger boy huffed haughtily, or at least Beomgyu thought so. He felt the warm gust of breath through his shirt. 

“Fineeeeee,” Taehyun groaned, lifting his head heavily.

His eyes were glazed from the alcohol, his skin flushed from the heat and sweat, his hair disheveled from all the dancing. 

Still, the bastard looked beautiful.

“Let’s go,” Beomgyu prodded, taking Taehyun’s hand and guiding him quickly through the crowd. When they broke through, they spotted their friends already standing, waiting for them by their booth.

Soobin eyed the shorter maknae amusedly. “You okay, Taehyun-ah?”

“Yes, hyung.” He replied with an easy smile. He detached himself from Beomgyu and linked his arm through their leader’s. Soobin patted the younger’s hand comfortingly as he surveyed his team. It’s funny, Beomgyu think, how Soobin frequently counts all of them before they go anywhere. There’s only 5 of them after all.

With that, they exit the club discreetly through the back door. Before Yeonjun could pull out the parking lot, Taehyun was already sleep in the backseat, curled up against Hueningkai.

Beomgyu never really thought of himself as a relationship kind of person. Their life in the spotlight made it difficult to meet people and invest that kind of time and energy into building a life with someone. He sometimes found himself being envious of his friends who boasted of long-term relationships at this point, but Beomgyu told himself he wasn’t missing out on much. Hueningkai once told him he might make a bad boyfriend because he didn’t really seem like the hopeless romantic type who pulled big gestures and said long sappy speeches.

And Beomgyu thought he was right; he wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t fit to be anyone’s boyfriend or whatever. He didn’t like going out of his way for people. 

But his mother once said that everyone’s love language is different. Love manifests not just in the fireworks of a kiss, but also in the silence of comfort and warmth. 

“Hello?” The voice rang through the phone.

“Yah, Taehyun-ah,” Beomgyu greeted. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m in school. Didn’t I tell you this morning?” Huffed the younger. Of course, he always managed to turn the smallest questions into a snide jab.

“I mean where in school, idiot.” Beomgyu countered, walking through the shaded walkway. “I’m nearby. If you’ll be done soon, we can grab something to eat and go home together.”

“Okay. I just have to submit this one report and talk to my professor. Can you meet me outside the Economics building?”

“Where’s that?” Beomgyu asked, adjusting his backpack straps. He was already on school grounds, surveying trying not to look like a lost creep in the middle of the quad.

“I don’t know. Figure it out.” There was a humorous undertone to Taehyun’s voice, which made Beomgyu rolls his eyes.

“Yah, this brat-“

“I have to go, my professor is here.”

“No, he isn’t.”

“See you later, hyung.”

“Kang Taehyun, you little-“

The line got cut.

“This shameless piece of-“ Beomgyu muttered, staring at his phone. He had half a mind to call back and rip him a new one but stopped himself. Taehyun might have been telling the truth about his professor being there. It was highly unlikely, but just in case. He didn’t want Taehyun getting into trouble.

So Beomgyu wandered around and asked for directions from a flustered girl who seemed to know who he was. She generously walked him to the Economics building so that he wouldn’t get lost anymore. They walked in silence, which gave Beomgyu the opportunity to look at his surroundings. The school was exactly how one would imagine a university to look like – its tall proud buildings and green open spaces. The chilly air made rustled through the trees gently, hinting at an incoming storm.

School – yet another thing he didn’t get to fully experience. Sure, they all went to an arts high school, but frequently missed classes and school events because of work. They barely even got to eat in the school cafeteria. Now, they take college classes online which allowed them the flexibility to tour more. But every now and then, particularly when they’re in town, they go on campus to submit things or talk to professors. It wasn’t mandatory, but it helped them feel more grounded and connected.

“Here it is,” The girl said, stopping in front of a tall white building. “That’s the Economics building. Do you know what room to go to?”

He didn’t get to ask. “Oh. No, I don’t. But it’s okay; I can wait out here.”

“Are you sure?” The girl chewed her lip nervously. “It’s a bit cold out here. Do you need me to wait with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” He waved her off and pulled his jacket tighter. “You go on ahead. Thanks for bringing me here.”

With a bow, she reluctantly headed off, turning back more than a few times to check on him.

Beomgyu waited at the bottom of the building’s steps, leaning against the railing as students pass by. Most don’t pay him any attention, but he overheard a few whispers. He pulled his favorite baseball cap a bit lower to shield his eyes and busied himself with his phone.

Five minutes turn into ten, which turn into fifteen, but he found that he didn’t mind much. The sun was quickly doing down, bringing its warmth with it. Beomgyu stuffed his phone in his pocket, feeling his fingers start to stiffen from the cold air. 

“Come on, professor,” He muttered under his breath. “Send Taehyun-ah out because I’m hungryyyyy.”

Beomgyu hummed to himself, careful not to sound insane. Every now and then, he nodded to passersby who looked at him, but mostly just kept alternating his gaze between the building entrance and his phone. 

Mid-scroll through Twitter, the whispers around him began to crescendo, making him look up at the building entrance. There stood a wide-eyed Taehyun, his brightly dyed hair ruffled by the wind. On instinct, a smile took over Beomgyu’s face and he waved (which was pointless because Taehyun was already looking at him). But just as soon as the smile came, it fell. 

Because, Beomgyu realized, Taehyun was only wearing a shirt. It was borderline freezing and was in a shirt.

“Yah, Kang Taehyun!” Beomgyu barked, marching up the steps with a huff. He belatedly realized he said that bit too loud. 

When he reached his best friend, Beomgyu grabbed the books in Taehyun’s arms and swung his backpack around.

“Are you stupid?! Do you want to die?!” He scolded as he stuffed the books in his bag.

“Hyung,” Taehyun said, looking at him with an unreadable expression. 

Beomgyu set his backpack down and shed off his jacket, draping it over Taehyun’s shoulders. “Didn’t you see the weather?! It’s so cold. Why didn’t you bring a jacket?!”

“Hyung,” Taehyun repeated. He looked like he wanted to say something, but whatever it was just wasn’t coming out.

“If you get sick, I’ll kill you myself.” Beomgyu kept going. “Put your arms through.”

Obediently, Taehyun threaded his arms through the jacket sleeves as Beomgyu adjusted the fabric to settle on they younger’s frame properly.

“Hyung,” Taehyun said again as Beomgyu fussed over him, hands going up and over the jacket. “People are staring.”

Beomgyu froze in his ministrations but didn’t make a move to step away. After another beat, he replied “Of course they are. It’s because I’m so handsome.”

“Or because you’re ugly and they want to report you to the police.”

“Say that again and I’ll kill your snake.”

“Say that again and I’ll make him kill you.”

Beomgyu picked up his bag with a huff. “Why didn’t you wear a jacket, stupid?!”

Taehyun shrugged. “It wasn’t that cold this morning.”

Before Beomgyu could scold him again, Taehyun sidestepped him and led the way out of the school. 

A few months later, Beomgyu is tugged from sleep at 2AM. His pillow was vibrating from its incessant ringing. He had half a mind to ignore it, but then he read the caller ID – Taehyun.

“Kang Taehyun, you better-“

“Beomgyu-hyung?” The younger’s voice sounded small and sweet on the other end of the line. He was drunk, but happy drunk.

Beomgyu softened immediately. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes – _hick_ – but I think that cocktail mix we had was a biiiiiit stronger than I thought so….” He trailed off with a laugh. There were happy giggles in the background. Beomgyu smiled.

“Okay, do you want me to pick you up? You’re at your friend’s birthday party, right?

Taehyun passed his phone over to his friend, who gave Beomgyu instructions on how to get to his apartment. In record time, Beomgyu pulled on whatever clothes lay nearby – an oversized sweater and skinny jeans – and left a note on his bedside table addressed to Soobin that he went out to pick up Taehyun.

The place wasn’t far – just a few blocks from their own apartment – but Beomgyu wasn’t completely sure about what Taehyun would be in so he didn’t want to risk having to walk him home.

When he arrived and knocked on the door, cheers erupted from inside the apartment followed by a distant ‘Beomgyu-hyung!’. It seemed his arrival was highly anticipated.

The birthday celebrant, Min Jun, opened the door with a theatrical swing. “Beomgyu! It’s so good to see you!”

The shorter male engulfed him in a hug, which the sleepy idol accepted. From over his shoulder, he spotted Taehyun waving excited at him from the middle of the living room. It was a small get-together of friends, but most of whom are unfamiliar to Beomgyu.

From what he remembers, Min Jun was a friend. Perhaps the others were too, but none stood out in his memory. In hindsight, it was strange that he knew almost nothing about Taehyun’s high school experience. Perhaps living together for so long made them the type to not feel the need to explain themselves to one another.

“You okay, Taehyun-ah?” He called as he made his way over to his best friend. He sat on the armrest of the cushioned chair that Taehyun was in, and instinctively put his arm around Taehyun’s shoulder when the younger draped himself across Beomgyu’s lap.

“Hyung, you’re here!” Taehyun cheered.

“Well, you called for me.” Beomgyu chuckled, brushing up the long bangs that had fallen into Taehyun’s eyes. His haircut was overdue, Beomgyu noted.

“I wasn’t supposed to get drunk.” The younger slurred happily.

“No, you weren’t.” Beomgyu laughed. “What happened?”

“I didn’t know it was that strong!” Taehyun whined.

“We warned you!” One of the friends chimed in. Taehyun turned his head to glare at her. 

“Okay, okay,” Beomgyu cut in before Taehyun brought his claws out. “But are you ready to go? We have to be at the agency by 10AM for rehearsals.”

“Taehyun!” Min Jun gasped dramatically. Absently, Beomgyu wondered if his flair for theatrics was due to alcohol or if he was always like that.

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a schedule tomorrow?! It’s already late. And ugh, we even woke Beomgyu-hyung up!”

Beomgyu waved the concern away. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I really don’t mind.”

Turning back to Taehyun, he continued. “But are you good to go, Taehyun-ah? I brought the car, so we don’t have to walk.”

“Yes, hyung.” Taehyun resigned. “Let’s go home.”

Beomgyu gently helped Taehyun up from the cushioned car, looping a secure arm around the younger’s waist to keep him steady. 

In the dim living room light, Taehyun seemed to glow. No, not like his skin was luminescent or that his smile lit up the room. It more like…like the light inside him shined through his skin. Like summertime.

Beomgyu helped Taehyun into his coat, absently humming in agreement as the younger mumbling about how yummy their dinner was and how Yeonjun-hyung should try Min Jun’s japchae recipe sometime. 

They said their farewells, with Min Jun wrangling a promise from Beomgyu to join them next time, then Beomgyu tucked Taehyun into the passenger seat of the car.

The drive home was quick and quiet, the cheery atmosphere in Min Jun’s apartment quickly forgotten. Taehyun kept his eyes shut, which Beomgyu hoped was just because he was trying to keep his dizziness at bay.

It wasn’t until Beomgyu had tucked him into bed – showered and dressed in fresh pajamas – that Taehyun broke the silence.

“They think you’re my boyfriend.” He said softly, almost as if Beomgyu wasn’t meant to hear.

“So?” Beomgyu replied, preoccupied with tucking Taehyun in just right. He set a lukewarm glass of water on the bedside table, with a side of painkillers.

“So?” Taehyun frowned. Beomgyu sat next to him on the bed and quirked a questioning eyebrow at him.

It’s unfair really, how Taehyun could look like that when he was drunk, and sleep deprived. No one should look like that. Whatever “that” meant, Beomgyu didn’t want to elaborate in his head. 

“People might think that you’re like me when…when you’re not!” Seeing Taehyun struggle with words was both painful and amusing. Beomgyu thanked whatever higher being there was that Taehyun was not naturally aegyo-ish. He wouldn’t survive having two cute maknaes.

The drunk boy stared up at him with wide, wondering eyes. It was late, and Beomgyu was only half asleep, and Taehyun’s hair looked so soft. He couldn’t help but reach out and fix a stray lock of hair.

“Is that supposed to be a problem for me?”

“What do you think?” Taehyun retorted. His alcohol euphoria was fading, giving way to grumpy sleepiness.

“I think,” Beomgyu started, running his fingers through the soft locks to lull the younger to sleep. “That people can mind their own business. But for the record, I’d give my lungs for you, Taehyun-ah. You’re my family. So if people think I’m your boyfriend, I don’t see where the problem there is.”

In hindsight, Beomgyu should have questioned why he felt that way. But he was too sleepy and Taehyun was already under the tides of slumber. Neither remembered that conversation.  
.  
.  
.  
What Beomgyu does remember is that his mother once said that everyone’s love language is different. Love manifests not just in how much you’re willing to spend, but in how much you’re willing to give. And give, and give, and give. Giving without wanting anything in return because the one you love will always be reward enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. In case you didn't notice, I alternative between Beomgyu's and Taehyun's POVs even though the story is told in 3rd POV voice.
> 
> What do you think Beomgyu feels? How do you feel about Taehyun's progress so far? Let me know your thoughts! I appreciate feedback.


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